Go Quietly

I doubt myself often. I'm unsure of things. I find it difficult to read people's thinking patterns. Forgive me if I need to reassure myself constantly. I know it becomes annoying and sounds like I'm just toying with your emotions but please just understand that I'm coming from a place where everything seems fine and literally goes to shit within moments.

I need to confirm that things are okay otherwise I become trap in my thoughts where my mind tortures itself until I scare myself enough to ask the question out loud only to be yelled at by you. I don't mean to sound cruel but I'm not just a bot asking you to confirm your password twice. It's only to put my mind at ease and if that's too challenging to you then I will leave. I cannot live with myself that way. I'm just a hassle to you and apparently self destructive. 

I agree on that to a certain degree but it's more damaging when you don't even answer me. More doubt runs though. It destroys any confidence I had. You can't see my patterns because you haven't lived it. You don't where I come from no matter how much I try to explain it to you. That's why I'm giving up before it's started because you're not willing to fight for anything but your own stress free life. I'm stress. Rid of me.