Tired

I use to really enjoy putting in all my time and effort into making people happy and in return, acknowledgement. Having the sense that I'm useful or that I'm wanted. But everything I do just seems like wasted energy and it wouldn't have made a difference.

I use to love writing cute little notes and getting flowers, learning new recipes and going on spontaneous adventures. As of lately, I feel drained of my efforts and not precipitating anything back. I'm growing further apart and it saddens me because I can see my actions unfold and I know, even if I were to explain it to them, they would just be taken in a negative light and then ultimately feeling worst about it. 

Apparently, silence and allowing things to turn badly is just how things are going to be. I want to be able to stop it.

But after a while...

It's draining.