What Are Those Bruises On Your Arm?

Okay, So even though I met thousands of doctors and met many nurses. I think it was the best time I went to the hospital. I think I also suffered from PMS that day as well. Ah jeez. How nice.

Went to the doctors at first. Andrew said I should go to the emergency room cause he think I might have appendicitis and being me, I knew what would happen if I did. Scary thought. So he wrote me a letter and sent me off to the emergency room. I waited a little while and met quite a few people too.

I met this cheerleader who broke her ankle and was in pain every time someone tapped it, I met this boy who fell on his jaw and I even met this lady who was worried about not getting her *ahems* monthlies. It was really cool talking to all of them though. She'd been waiting the same amount of I did. Seven was lucky.

She left before me though. The nurse gave me a tag and pee cup. Oh jeez. Seriously? I met my doctor. He was a asian nerdy kind of doctor named Chris. I liked him a lot. He was the first doctor to take blood from me which was quite mesmerising. Failed the first time. Basically stuck a big needle in my and moved it around. He joked how I was being mean to him and how I wouldn't give him my blood.

He got a smaller needle and finally got some blood. The vile looks the same from True Blood. Oh and the only thing that went through my mind was Scrubs. The guy doctor really reminded me of one of the interns. I haven't eaten in a while so I was going to be put on a fluid pack but the intern dude didn't want to stick a needle in me due to, quote, "I am feisty when it comes to needles".

But yeah, Tiny ass tv in the waiting room and I didn't mind listening to other people's conversations. I came out at the right time too. Some guy was starting a fight with a couple of policemen. Oh and a guard. I got some medication from a nurse too. Lets just say I dropped dead afterward. I honestly was high on drugs and had a major ass headache.

Overall, I didn't mind him taking my blood. The results came back fine, so thank gosh for that. Good experience. Wasn't at all bad as the other times. OH. Except I cried in the end cause I threw up. Enough typing now. Tired.

One Of Those Moments

I got pushed into a bush today. Only waking up to the sight of butterflies flying over the top of me with the sun glaring at the edge of my eyes. I sat up realising they were just dull grey moths. Too bad this was all just a dream.

I also remember something about running through endless halls. Oh and wanting to buy Japanese products. It's the third time I've been sick within 3 months. Congratulations on me. Joy.



Watching Friday The 13th. Kind of distracting.

Thrill Of The Fall

I saw a black cat this morning. It was so adorable. I call him Cookies but I never see creams. Well, Not both of them at once at least. Cookies was stalking me today. Like he was ready to pounce of out of the grass. I crossed the road without looking both ways. I was just too...Not bothered to care.

So I came home today. Like, Finally. It was quiet but I didn't mind. Then some man comes to the door. Quite threatening actually. I really couldn't be stuffed continuing the conversation so I did what every teenager would of done, "Whatever". He mimicked and walked away and came back asking a question once more even though I answered it almost a jillion times.

Obviously I was basically raging at this point but I found it quite entertaining. It was... Alive. I just had so much power at this point. Felt awesome. I asked for something new in my life and I got it. Just note. Police aren't a threat, You bastard.

All You Need To Do Is Cry

So over a really long time I always depended on other people cause they were always there. I guess I'm only saying this because people are letting me down now and it's kind of stressing. I really think I can do better. I just wished I didn't have this thought.

You know... "What's the point.. No body's going to bother with me anyways." I guess that's just me. Sort of need someone to push me along the way. Maybe I'm just writing this blog out of stress. Just a fair warning. So don't get all pissy.

Don't Think, Just Do

Maybe I'm mad at the fact you gave up on me. I just returned the favor and gave up on you. So don't you dare come crawling back. Just look at me now. I think I might have restless heart syndrome. Why you might ask? Because you keep returning. You won't give up. You won't leave me alone.

I thought it was the end of everything. Not to be mentioned ever again. Do you believe you were better off? I'd like to think so. Just look at me now. I do admit it's been easier. I didn't have anything to worry about. I didn't have anyone else's problems.

Not to mention those times I was there for you and when you're not. My eyesight improves. My education has been better than I thought. I've been so organised. Just look at me now. I won't admit I have miss you. I won't say anything at all really. Why?

JUST LOOK AT ME NOW, DAMNIT.

I Know I've Let You Down

I think these past years that I have known you. I finally had the guts to not give a shiet anymore. A little harsh but it's reality. Everyday I would hear about your awful days and you would never ask how was mine. You would gain but I would lose. You'll get company and I'll get years of wasted time never to be returned.

I would endlessly take the time out of my life just to help you no matter what. I'll tell you everything and I would always have open arms. I just wished you were like that in return. I don't even know why I stuck around all those years. I guess I just needed some pathetic excuse as company.

I really don't know you at all.

And your pissed because you pushed me away and I didn't come running. I didn't beg for your company. I didn't bother asking how your day has been. It was shiet. I get it. So even thought I know I've done wrong I won't tell you that I was better off. I could of done better and deserve better than just a cent.

I'll let you figure it out for yourself.

Let It Wither Away

I've been thinking lately... People are getting older and were learning new things but even though we're growing we still make mistakes. I know some people let go of others and then come crawling back expecting things will be the same where they left it. I'm not a vase in a old fashioned house that leaves a dust mark when it's moved.

If anything I would be that moth eating away (cause I'm always thinking about food). I'm not going to accept things how they are and make you control what you want me to think. I'm sick of you questioning me and sick of you in general. Maybe I'll regret writing this later on because I'm too forgiving and I always seem to go back to my old ways.

But this is just a reminder on what I thought about this and how I was dumb enough to let you come back. I haven't decided yet but I have a feeling that I'm stupid enough. At least I know I'll learn something from this and know that you won't.

I'll Bring You Home

Okay, So it's been pretty boring and bad for me so far. I've been sick all day and I'm tired as hell. My body just doesn't have the will to move and my brain just doesn't give a damn about anything.

Spending time in bed, Since it's flu season and being someone like me with a weak immune system, I was basically waiting for the flu just to attack around the corner and there was basically no chance in hell I was going to dodge this. Well, Anyways.

I've realised that I become very 'tunnel vision' when I'm sick and I tend to push everyone out and ignore them and pretend they're not there. I don't actually remember once where I was sick and I didn't cry. I'm very selfish when I'm sick too. The only thing going through my mind is that I'm the one in dying need to for help and needing the attention and nobody else matters.

Even if you do try to help me out, Like I said, I become very tunnel visioned and block you out of my life. Pretty selfish huh? Sometimes I hate myself for this. This was just a caution to people who know me and how I am when I'm sick. Don't say I didn't warn you.