I realise how much of a different person I am when I'm at my lowest. I'm aggressive, I'm silent, I become very selfish and hate everything. I don't know why. I guess this is me trying to get back at the world. I hurt the people I'm closest too. I stay in bed all day. I avoid human contact as much as people. I'm cruel.
But when I am myself, I'm cheery, I'm thoughtful and giddy. I like me better like this. And in my mind, I think I've been happy for too long. Any time now, I'll have a dropping point. I don't have many friends. It's probably cause I don't put in enough effort. That's sad.
Fxck.
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