Standing Last

Hurting yourself. Just to see what it feels. The pain is real. It's the state I'm in and it won't go away. I have no prayers. Praying to a god, who won't listen. I don't think he ever did. I don't think I need him in my time in shame anyway. There's nothing for me. I wish you could see me for who I truly was.

This is me.

I've let you down. I will make you hurt. I'm one to let down. For everything I've done. You'll leave me alone. Everyone does. Why do I act as a fool. I can't ask for forgiveness. I don't know what to do. Just look at me life and what's left. Beneath all this wreak. I cannot contain what I have become to make you hurt this way. You were everything and all I did was push it all away. Trust was an excuse.

I hurt today. I still feel it. It's only real. It won't go away, The state I'm in. I can no longer pray. I secretly know you pray for me though. I wish for nothing more than to see you smile. Not to me. Never to me.