Treading Water

I don't really trust what I'm feeling unless it's fear. It's so easily felt and I'm so acquainted with it. I remember doing an exam for my mental well being and it had all these questions about all these difference emotions that I was really confused on what these feelings actually felt like. I've been accompanied by terror and depression for so long that I was never really aware about the other things that I could be experiencing.

They were so overwhelming that to this day, I question if I ever "loved" anything. I mean... I've said it before and tried to mean it as much as possible but it still felt empty. I would say it often and I would elaborate on how much I loved something so they didn't think that I was exaggerating but now I feel like I was only just kidding myself. I am capable. I just need to take it slow.