Mendax

Lately I've been feeling down. I'm not sure if that's due to not taking my medication properly or having backlash when you open up to somebody. I recently joined the semi-colon project and got a small tattoo on my wrist. It means a lot to me. Getting this far. I do like to think of him as a good friend but there are doubts. I don't think he has friends in his intentions.

I suppose it is him and his brother not understanding my circumstances so the only way they can understand is to mock it. Something that means close and dear to me. It scares you but that's my life you're joking about. I've been through so much and there's nothing funny about being 9 years old and wanting nothing more but to die. I get it. You don't understand it. Leave it at that.

I feel no remorse for the selfishness or hostility I show when around you. I'm not normally like that but you give me that attitude.That's how I'm protecting myself. I know your secrets and I show no judgement. Perhaps this is the reason why I find it difficult to make friends or feel love. People like you build my walls higher. I don't mind; but don't blame me when the next person that comes around trying with all their strength to break down the barrier asks why it was so secure in the first place. I will point my finger at you and it will take them years to go through those layers you've made.

Because of you. 

People like you make the world horrible. You disguise yourself as a friend but you're no where near that. You're a liar.