Overstayed My Welcome

I have a deep concern about being a nuisance. I suppose this stems from every so often people have the need to tell me to calm down and relax. I don't mean to be intense. I just enjoy showing my feelings with vigour but this makes people uncomfortable. I don't mean to be loud. I just don't know any other way to exude my spark.

And the fact that I have the need to apologise for feeling this way makes me feel like I'm just somebody's headache. Thoughts along these lines run laps through my head in a never ending relay. I don't want to be pardon myself because that's just the way I am. I've ever only had one person who's ever told me directly with so much spite that it still breaks my heart today. 

Maybe because it was meant to be season of open arms and love. Or maybe because I really didn't deserve it... Not that kind of level of hostility anyway. It caused me to have one of the most severe panic attacks I ever had. But I suppose I would be more of a nuisance if I didn't ask for clemency. However, In the long run of it all. I don't want to know you.

That's just me emitting my enjoyment and hype and if you can't either be happy for me or share my glee, I don't want to know you. You're stopping me from enjoying my life the way I want to. You're dimming my light and for what exactly? You're invalidating me. I don't need that.

To put it simply, I'm infatuated.