Cold In Winter

It's actually irritating. I would never recommend this. I find myself angrily biting my bottom lip over the messages that I wait all day to receive only for it to be two sentences of generic conversation. Small talk. I feel as if my feelings and efforts aren't being returned in the same manner.

I'm wrong you say. I'm always wrong. But I've written to you so much. I haven't even gotten a single letter from you since. I hate having this feeling as if I'm kidding myself. I hate that I have so much time for you. I'm willing to sacrifice so much but I'm sure you wouldn't do the same.

Everyday. Worst thoughts seem to intrude and honestly, I'm starting to believe them. They're invasive and loud but you haven't given me any reason not to believe them. I give you so much of my time. I lose so much sleep. Why don't you do the same? I don't deserve this. We need to talk.